TAT2U: Brothers in Arms

Arm, Leg, Chest, Back, Hand, Ankle, Foot. Tattoos, once the province of the navy and the rebel have become popular. Long enough, in fact, that their popularity is somewhat waning. Nevertheless, many students sport tattoos, some as early as middle school.

AJ, a soon to be senior, trumpets into the room a few days ago to show off a new tribal tattoo circling his arm. Having tattoo avoidence myself, I can't help but comment. "How old are you? Did your parents approve? Did you think about this, you know, it comes off later only with considerable difficulty and scarring." My problems with tattos are there floating in my questions. For me, they are simply way too permanent. I know that no matter what design, what meaning, what color, I would want to change or eliminate a tattoo within a few years. I like change. I like knowing I can change. I don't like the idea of being followed by an impulse for the remainder of my life, pinned to permanence like a butterfly in a display. Plus, I hate pain.

Obviously, my views aren't shared by a good many students.

AJ then explains. "Actually, my parents don't know yet. I'm not going to show them until later. My older brother (23) and I decided to have twin designs put on our arms together. We picked out the design together." Hum, that actually changes my perception. Being basically an only child, I never had that kind of sibling connection. It seems almost pollyannish. But it has a certain primal meaning that can't be denied. I admire that kind of sibling connection, that level of symbolic family that both will carry with them the rest of their lives. It really doesn't come across as an impulse or childish stunt from AJ. In a way, I am touched.

"We just had the outlines done. Next, we'll go together and have them filled in, but we need to save up the money."

I can't say I would approved if AJ was my kid. But I find it hard to disapprove too. I have no idea what the underlying family dynamics are that led to their l(ink)ing. I don't know if it is healthy or dysfunctional, a search for permanance among unpredictability or simply a symbol of the solid upbringing in a close family. I do know that AJ is a fairly well-adjusted student, and that he views the tattoo as a symbol of inseparability.

I still wouldn't have a tattoo myself. But I perceive them, and the students who wear them, somewhat differently. Not with blanket approval now, that would be too black and white, but at least with a little less judgment or concern. Odd how often we need to relearn the simple ability of withholding judgment. Why do we feel so compelled to weigh and pass judgment?