Many Things Happen to Some People

If there is a symptom of the meltdown of the American mind, it is the inability to speak and write in specifics. I think it is one result of the mad media rush that we live in, information overload with scarcity of meaning. Students seem to believe that vague statements that go absolutely nowhere actually say something. In fact, it only demonstrates a lack of knowledge and understanding. Allow me to present some classic examples.

There are many factors that led to the Cold War. There are some factors that had more of an impact than others. Many of the factors leading to the Cold War from 1945-1960 were mainly verbal, but there were some people that acted.

Hum, tells absolutely nothing. Next.

The Cold War didn't just have one reason why it occurred, but more than one. Many things brought it to a cold war.

The Cold War was one of many throughout history. There were many contributions and outbreaks during this time period. The countries involved probably wouldn't have had such a problem if there wasn't so much lack of communication.

As the event of the Cold War approached, the (sic) were factors leading to it along the way. There are various factors that may have led to the Cold War. The Cold War, a war fought on many levels, had many causes and effects. Many people around the world, in different countries, have different believes (sic) on how the world should be handled when it comes to a certain government.

OK. Enough. But, what to do about it. There are a million ways to write in a way that doesn't make sense. So, it doesn't seem that just correcting errors, or rewriting will lead to progress. What about teaching with models? Certainly, that is an important piece of teaching good writing, but years of using models of good writing have demonstrated difficulty in translating understanding good writing from actually writing it. Feedback on student writing and continued revision is another approach, but the difficulty with history essays is that the essay is a tool of content, not the content itself. At some point there is little time for revision and polishing, the student needs to become a competent writer, especially if that competence is for an exam or standardized test. The point isn't quality, it's competence.

We can take it apart, present it step by step, design a format, but in the final analysis, the knowledge has to be there, and that takes time, thought and study. Then a student will find a way to express what they know. A writing formula with little content knowledge or comprehension ends up as:

The Cold War was a war that grew from many factors. The tension made the factors grow and as time went by, the factors became immense. Some of the many factors involved in this war came from these immense factors.